Last Monday was my defense. Even though I was told that it would be life changing, I did not know what to expect. I was nervous and tense but all of that slowly faded as I had my friends with me. I couldn't believe that such amount of friends would come in the morning to give support. I appreciate every minute being with them. And again, how do I deserve all that ?
I was the third to be called and the moment it was time, I stood by the jury room outside waiting for my turn. My mind was blank yet I wasn't scared.
When I walked in to the room, all my anxiety disappeared as if it was nothing at all. I knew most of the jury. One of them even remembered my cousin few years ago. For some reason, I felt comfortable. Presenting was easy but opening up was not. Tears trickled down my face somewhere in my presentation. I really thought I blew it because a juror stood up and walked out without a word. Silence covered the room.
Embarrassed, I paused and waited for him to come back. Minutes later, he returned to the room with a glass of water and handed it over to me. I was moved by his sincere action but all I could think of is whether I ruined my presentation because of it.
Well anyway, I am thankful that I didn't have to do revisions for my book and my jury didn't grill me with challenging questions.
"That's it ????" As I stepped out of the room with confusion. However I have never felt so free and at peace.
It's crazy how this whole thesis journey turned out to be more of a test of character rather than the research itself.
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